Feeling lost? Bored? Stuck in a rut? Not sure what you want to do with your life? Perhaps the answer is to take one small step. That could be calling an acquaintance for lunch, taking a hike in the foothills, joining a social group with like-minded individuals. That could be a million different small step choices. Who knows what one new encounter can bring?
To avoid disappointment, I’ve found that not having a big expectation for the outcome of these steps is important. Several years ago, I had a friend who wanted to find a new romantic interest. She decided to join the Sierra Club. After the first club meeting she came home devastated that she had not met her future soul mate. Small steps. Small expectations.
But maybe we should back up. Are you afraid of having a life that is different? Afraid of change? Afraid of the unknown? Afraid of failure? Afraid of success? Perhaps an inventory of your fears is in order. The more you avoid things that are frightening, the bigger the fear becomes. Asking for help to sort all this out might be helpful. That might be your first step.
Without knowing it, I followed the “first-step” formula when I was getting ready to retire from my teaching position at a local university. I wanted to find ways to fill those hours I’d been teaching with some exciting and meaningful activity. I had dabbled in writing fiction as an undergraduate and decided to pick up the pen again.
First small step: Joined a writing group. This group turned out to be a bust, but what I learned from that step is that I was really interested in writing creative nonfiction. Second small step: Enrolled in a one-day creative writing course at the local community college. In a short twenty-minute writing assignment, I came away with an outline for a memoir, and I was off and running.
After two years of working with a creative writing coach my life took a dramatic turn. She sent me on an assignment to visit a horse ranch and come away to write about it. After completing that writing assignment, I knew I wanted to be around horses. But how? Since I had absolutely no horse experience, I started volunteering at a horse rescue. It was worth it to spend three hours a day picking up poop so I could spend time looking into fields of horses.
Stop sign in the road. My back gave out after all the mucking. (Horse poop can be heavy.) I felt such grief because—with only my one horse skill—I thought I’d never be able to be near horses again. As I was laying on the massage table getting body work one day, I had the idea that maybe I could learn equine massage. I almost canceled the idea as soon as I had it. Instead, I took the next first step. Months down the road I was able to hang out with many horses who benefitted from the body work skills I had learned.
I never finished the memoir, but one of those first steps eventually led me to horses…and a life I could not have imagined was possible for me.
Just take a step.
